Many people would be gung hoe for the adventure because it is exciting and new... but me? Im petrified. Its going to be amazing when Im there and am serving the Lord through my mission work... but Im scared. Ive become attached to a very dear friend of mine. He is truely the most amazing person I've ever met. Downfall? He and I are attending different colleges. Oh you may say well you have all summer! Nope. I leave a month after my high school graduation. 160 days from now I will be in Colorado and then only God knows where without a perrminant mailing address or reliable internet connection. You may be reading this and wanting to say "DONT GO THEN!" But I would say that I have to. I know where I am being called. Whats awesome about this boy is that he is perfect. Oh yup you guessed it. Here comes the mushy love story. Well basically he is cute, funny, and Ive never met a man with the love of God so deep in his heart.. oh did i mention he is also going on a mission trip come spring? oh yeah. to china :) Hes pretty amazing. Again you may say that the right guy will come when its God's timing and I would say yes he will, but can you imagine sitting here trying to squeeze in time with someone because you know your leaving and you never know where the person our leaving behind is going to be when you come home? For all I know he could fall in love with someone....or get hurt and i wont be there. Could you imagine? Being 18 and all youve ever known is living in a small town filld with farmers and Amish? Venturing off to the big world? Im frightened. Petrified. I know God will give me the courage to go out and do mission work, but its conquering that giant of fear placed in front of me. Still in the process of defeating that one. Ill let you know how it goes.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
-Psalm 61:2
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